Annonse

Why I turned down a luxurious stay at Hilton – 3 good reasons

5. april | Artikler,Helse,Reise Read post in english

Sex in the City: He was tanned, cute, with dark hair and a charmy smile and he offered me a 3 night free stay at luxurious Hilton hotel. Here are 3 reasons why I said no and chose a free banana in a cheap hostel – and why you should do it too…

1. They most likely only want sex: These guys who tell you they liked you the first minute they saw you and you are so beautiful and they simply cannot leave you that night …. most of them are simply just looking for sex. Guys sometimes stop me in the street to say something like this, some follow me and start hugging and kissing me.  One not so good looking fellow followed me into the restaurant and sat there when I ate my meal. It was his day off from work in a restaurant and he wanted to take me to the beach. I was going to a Spanish class and was not interested. After a long time he finally understood it. Another a bit scary looking fellow who I met in the street at night, wanted me to take me for a ride in his van. I ran!  This time it happened in the bar of my hostel. A cute looking guy gave me an eye and asked if I was looking for company. I just passed, but later he came over to where I was sitting and accidentally spilt my beer and offered to by a new Heineken. I said yes. So far so good. He told me he was a helicopter pilot from Algerie on a job journey with colleagues from all over the world, and he had room for me in Hilton. I could upgrade my cheap and filthy  stay just by saying yes. Three days later he was going to leave Florida and go to New York. It was tempting to go to a luxurious hotel after two weeks in cheap hostels with room-mates, but he was probably married and it would not be worth it. Maybe for him, not for me. I have done some stupid things in my life, and a hotel romance with a married guy seeking sex, is not on my to do-list or my Bucket-list right at this moment.   Younger girls I know, tell me that they often get offers like this: A man insisted on paying for one beautiful ´s girls gas when she stopped her car at a gas station, but she was not looking for a sugar daddy and said no. He kept on asking, and wouldn’t leave her. In the end she had to say she was married. Another of my study mates actually said yes to go to at hotel with a much older guy after a salsa class. He gave her so many drinks that she got wasted and could not say no. The next day she could not wait to take a taxi back to her apartment. She regretted the sex so much she was too embarrassed to go to salsa the next day  – as he would be there too, as one of the help out guys. Also she had to go to the pharmacy to buy a regret-pill.  Regret – and what´s in it for me – are reasons to turn these offers down. Because what ´s  in it for you, rather that a short not so happy romance? These stories happen everywhere.  The MeToo-campagin did not change the world all of a sudden. Sometimes these hungry men out there seeking company for a night wants two girls. A friend of mine gets so mad when a man comes up to her and me  in a night club and invites us to three- somes that she screams at him that he can go and buy girls on the street! I am milder, but in the end I also manage to say no. The thing is, I love to meet new people and grab a beer together and chat and flirt, but the minute I feel uncomfortable it is over. Like this night in the hostel – when I said no and his answer was that I was stupid to say no and that a lot of other girls would have had accepted: He could have chosen anyone in here but chose me. That´s the minute it is definitely over for me and I just want to finish my drink and go. Or the minute they say you are probably a lesbian because you dont want their dick. Offensive behavior does not turn me on and does not make me horny. And I know the difference.
2. You will most likely regret it: After seeing the movie «He is not that into you» episodes like this always reminds me of this movie. One unlucky girl finally learns how to turn badguys down and say no  – and look for something worth keeping. A good friend, who in the end turns out to become her boy friend, tells her «don’t do it – he is not into you. The girl look for love, not for a free drink: If you are young and out of money, it might be tempting to have a sugar daddy to pay for you for a while. If you are older an need sex, why not – we live in a free world. In the right moment when I feel young and alive and happy anything can happen! But when you have had too much to drink before, experienced some headaches, felt some stress and some regrets after some night with these not-so-hot-afterall-guys, you will learn how to say no.  Short time romance can be fine but there is such a thin line between when you feel open for romance with someone  – and when you just feel that a guy is trying to buy you like something he sees in the store and wants. Actually I find younger guys more attractive because they are sweeter and more innocent and they don’t  come on to you in the same kind of tacky way. By this I do not mean that younger guys are necessarily worth more of you time. They often just want sex too… But at least you will feel more flattered.
3. You do not know who the guy is: The best reason to turn these offers down is that you do not know who the guy is. Girls have been killed on internet-dates. This time the guy showed me his business card, I met his colleague and had no reason to believe that he was pretending to be someone else. But the guy lives in Algerie and clearly was not serious with me, and probably has a wife and three kids there. «Who cares about this? We are in Miami,» the guy said. Well, right there I did care. This was a guy I could have liked, which actually made it worse. Also, after you go with them to their hotel, your luck might change. After two hours the charm might be all gone. I have seen some of these guys getting mad, they have a temper and they soon turn into a hungry man wolf who wants a blowjob and you dont get more else besides of that.  Or he can’t do it because he is too drunk. Of course, he might be terrific in bed and fulfill all your dreams in these three nights – and we only live once. But the fact is, there is more chance that his room will be small, he  will not pay for your dinner the next day and he will not be a good lover –  because he had too much to drink and he is selfish and because most girls need to know a guy better or at least feel safe before good sex can happen. Better offers will come. Also it is more fun to hunt than be hunted on from my point of wiew.

«Actually a free banana, meeting new friends in a hostel and a good night ´s  sleep is probably more fun than a stay at Hilton with a married man who wants sex on his last night.»

Agree or disagree?

Read more about my three week stay in Florida, USA.

How I survived sleeping in a bunkbed in a small room with 5 guys for a week

What I learnt in Florida: The American Dream does not exist, here are 6 reasons why

Pool-drama: A young man is trown out after having been harrassing other people for a week

Read more about one night stands – pros and cons:

13 Good Reasons to have a one night stand.

7 signs you are not ready for a one night stand.

 

Annonse

Outfit of the day: I paid just 5 dollar for this amazing jumper

4. april | Reise,Velvære Read post in english

You don´t have to rent a car and drive one hour to the biggest outlets to find clothes on sale in Miami. Many of the stores downtown, in Lincoln Road, have good offers: This cool jumper I bought for 5 dollars and it took me like 5 minutes to buy it. Here I wear the jumper at breakfast in Freehand, Miami – the cute hostel I wrote about in an earlier blog.

My Freehand hostel-friend from Brazil, Flavia,  rented a car and spent a whole day shopping in Sawgrass shopping mall and outlet. She offered me to join, but I choose a yoga class on the beach instead! Shopping makes me really tired – and leaving with her 8 that morning was too much for me.

When she came back from that long trip late in the night and joined me in a salsa club, she knew what I was talking about: She was exhausted!

I bought tre jumpers on sale – and some other stuff not on sale…

Actually is it hard to dress in Miami, because outside it is super warm and inside they have so cold air condition that you feel you are inside a freezer. I asked several people why they do this, but they do not have a good answer. Because of these cold inside conditions, I had to buy a tights at HM and some long sleeve jumpers.

I take Spanish classes in Spanish Hangout in Lincoln Road and on my way back to the hostel, I found some real good bargains: Lots of stuff was on sale – like this cute jumper! I bought like three of them and will show more of the clothes later on. I also bought a new bikini top and two dresses that were not all that cheap – and some new sandals – because I lost one gold sandal and couldn’t find it.

I wrote an email to my first downtown hostel and asked, but they were sorry, they could not find it either…:)  It was gone – like Cinderella.

Read more about my three week stay in Miami Florida:

How I survived sleeping in a bunkbed in a small room with 5 guys for a week

What I learnt in Florida: The American Dream does not exist, here are 6 reasons why

Pool-drama: A young man is trown out after having been harrassing other people for a week

 

Annonse

Pool-drama: A young man is thrown out after harrassing other people for a week

3. april | Artikler,Helse,Nyheter,Reise Read post in english

 

 

– No one else would be talking to you! A kind woman at the pool is about to get enough of this drunk boy ´s behavior. Earlier, she has been filming him, saying she will send it to him so that he can see how he acts. The manager has been trying to kick him out, but he keeps coming back and he is loud and swearing.

One hour later, he is taken away by the police.

Just as I was about to tell about my chill and idyllic stay at Freeman hostel in Miami, a drunk Englishman made my day.  For days now I have been enjoying my stay in this reinvention of one of the Miami Beach’s classic 1930s Art Deco buildings.  A chill oasis with a flowery backyard with pool. I would tell about this amazing place where the birds are singing in the trees, the nice garden where they grow their own organic vegetables, the artistic scenery, the nice and colorful chairs and sofas, the good music, the terrific food and drinks, the  reward-winning bar outside Broken Shaker and the famous 27 restaurant.

It is such a vibrant and still peaceful atmosphere her – and I have extended my stay because it is so much better than cheap hostels in the city and I needed some rest. In the weekend a big wedding took place here; there were more than 90 guests. The wedding took place on the beach and the couple were dressed  in costumes, pretending to be  prisoners of love. What a fun and creative idea! The reception was onsite. I talked to my son on the phone  for like an hour and showed him around with FaceTime and said this would be a perfect place for him and his girl friend to get married or bring a small kid, if they get one. He said the place looked pretty cool. It is cheap and still so much value for the money.

I love vacation, he screams

On my 8th day at Freehand the scene changes: One hour before I am leaving for my Spanish class in Lincoln road, it happens. I see a man sitting in a pool chair, and he is really loud – talking to himself: «Aunt Mary, I love you. I love vacation,» he screams.  I smile at first, because Mary is the name of the organic garden here where they grow their own organic vegetables, fruits and herbs, and it is a bit funny. I can hear his accent is British English. He trows himself in the pool with shoes, trousers and pants on and looks wasted. He must be on drugs or booze.

This would be a nice, good Englishman when clean and sober. But its clear he has been drinking for a long time – like a real, good alcoholic. The waiters stop by and sigh and say «oh man – I dont wanna work tonight with him around here – its been going on the whole week. Last night he was harrassing some guests in the restaurant.»

«After he got a warning, he rented a suite,» a girl at the pool says. There he could drink even more.

A young guy dive into the pool to look for his key card

A manager appears and points at him, it is clearly he want the Englishman  out of the pool area. The man gets the message, he is apparently mad, but at the same time tells the manager he must never forget that he is a champion. It is clear that the manager is not at all flattered.

Just as the man is leaving the pool, a girl calls for him: – S….., you forgot your shoes. He says he will be back, I think it is a threat. The drunkard comes  back after some minutes, he has forgotten his key card in the pool and asks for help. A young guy dives into the pool, find the key card and give is to him.  One more time he leaves the pool area, he is mad and kicks his foot into the pool and makes a small splash.

I will not touch your fine ass

It is not over. Five minutes later he is back, and climbs behind the girl to get his wet shoes. «I will not touch your fine ass,» he says, extremely loud.  She is uncomfortable ands she says something like » Nobody else would want to be seeing you (or speak to you.)» He rambles on talking about niggers, killings and bitches. He calls the skinny girl fatso and tells her she has to lose some weight. It is extremely embarrassing.

I leave to my Spanish class not much later, and am shocked to see two police cars outside the reception. Apparently the manager now had enough of drunkboy  and wants him out. One week with this badass was enough.

He came here to recover

I ask for information in the reception and is told that the poor guy apparently came her to sober up, recover and get in shape – but the tempting booze was way too easy to find – and he ended up ruining his luck both with the super nice hostel and the super nice girl that was so patient with him. He also bothered my  room-mate on his way to beach, shouting with a bottle in his hand to the older man that he would like to be his friend. My roommate is 72 and wasn’t really ready for it.

«S´s family or friends – if your read this – please help this guy out.»

It is not about niggers, killings or bitches as the angry man was shouting about – the drama was all created by one young, white English man with snobbish accent, enough money to rent a suite and too drunk to know the American way of behaving.

OMG.

There are so many tragedies happening with too much booze and drinking. This is just one small story.

I still will recommend Frehand, though. Awesome place – and they took care of the tragic situation in a good way.

Just sad you missed out of all the fun, S. Hope you are now being taken good care of. I´d like to know how things are gong with you, so please send me a note. If you dont like what I wrote, we can work on a more happy ending. 😉

Ciao!

At Freehand hostel and hotel in south beach, Tina.

Global Burden:

• In 2012, 3.3 million deaths, or 5.9 percent of all global deaths (7.6 percent for men and 4.0 percent for women), were attributable to alcohol consumption.¹²
• In 2014, the World Health Organization reported that alcohol contributed to more than 200 diseases and injury-related health conditions, most notably DSM–IV alcohol dependence (see sidebar), liver cirrhosis, cancers, and injuries.¹³ In 2012, 5.1 percent of the burden of disease and injury worldwide (139 million disability-adjusted life-years) was attributable to alcohol consumption.¹²
• Globally, alcohol misuse was the fifth leading risk factor for premature death and disability in 2010.  Among people between the ages of 15 and 49, it is the first.¹⁴ In the age group 20–39 years, approximately 25 percent of the total deaths are alcohol attributable.¹⁵

Also read: How I survived sleeping in a bunkbed in a small room with 5 guys for a week

Also read: What I learnt in Florida: The American Dream does not exist, here are 6 reasons why

Also read: Alcohol abuse statistics 

Annonse

What I learnt in Florida: The American Dream does not exist, here are 6 reasons why

1. april | Artikler,Helse,Nyheter,Reise,Trening Read post in english

In a few years to come, 48 percent of all Americans will be out of work. 25 percent are already homeless,  claims an experienced professor in South Beach languages in Florida, USA. The American Dream is haltering. If you are not prepared for the crisis, having to buy cheap burgers at Mc Donalds for your family every day, might hit you like a hurricane. Here are 6 reasons America is struggling to keep the balance. Actually this yoga on the beach is probably one of the last free things in this tough country.

By Tina C Holm, Norwegian freelance journalist and teacher, visiting Florida on a small scholarship from NJ – Norwegian journalist Association. I am studying English in Florida for some weeks and tell about my experiences.

Florida is overrated and it is not the real America, claims my professor.

1. Why did you come here? my professor in South Beach Languages asks harsly. He is a black, experienced businessman and teacher and father of 2 teenagers. One of them luckily got an athletic scholarhip and can study for free, the other one he has to pay for in college – and it is indeed expensive. Teaching doesn’t make you rich, and he and his family live on a low budget.

   My professor wants to tell the truth about America: Florida is not the real America, and it is higly overrated, he says. We might have come her to enjoy the sunny, beautiful beaches, the amazing food and drinks in Oceandrive and the nice outlets, but actually there is not much going on – the marketing people have done a far too good job advertising Florida as a «dream place to be.» – Really, would you consider coming here again?» he asks a German couple, and they frown and do not answer. The way he talks, makes me depressed! He talks about school shootings – there was just one in Fort Lauderdale – and the guy who did it has fans now in jail, it is unbelievable, but true. It turned out he got angry when he did not have a Valentin date and he took an Uber to school that day with a gun in his gym bag and shot 17 people. Why the government does not stop families from being allowed to have guns  in their homes is a mystery both to this professor and for me and the students. «There is something sick with a country where guns are status symbols,» he says, and refers to a YouTube-video where a father gives a gun to his daughter for her 12 years birthday; and they are both so proud about it. «Guns are made to kill people,» he continues, and his face grows enormously sincere.

   There are a lot of disappointed and unhappy people in USA these days with less money and success than they had hoped for,  and guns do not make it better: Recently a young boy killed his sister because she took the controller and wanted to switch video game, the professor tells me. Terrible! Recently, thousands of students were marching,  protesting against guns who killed their class mates. Read more about this here. 

Donald Trump offered disappointed people to keep America safe

2. One person who claims he will make America better is Donald Trump. The reason he could win the election and become president is according to the professor that he offered a solution for all these frustrated people: He said he would close the borders and keep America safe, so that nobody would take your job and food away from you. It is manipulative, but it worked. In an easy way the professor explains why nationalism is increasing both in US and the rest of the world: Economics is going down, and that makes us suspicious to new people: «Why are these new guys coming here getting money and jobs – when I had to struggle for everything..?»  Even in Italy people are starting to get more racist and nationalistic and the Italians did not use to be like this! Poorer life make us more selfish and protective. People become frightened to lose what they have and hold on to their own rights and goods. In Norway we see the same sad effects. One of the female teachers in South Beach Languages is as devastated about this as I am: She gets so sad reading racist comments in social media, that it hurts. It is a small relief that there  is a reason for everything: Poverty, economical crisis and the envy of others seeming to have a more easy life, make some people angry and hateful.

Give the people money from the state to live for

To give the people  money from the state, is a solution, says my professor: He claims that in a few years from now, 48 percent of Americans will lose their jobs. Robots and self service will take over the jobs and that will be a huge crisis for the country and especially for people that are not prepared for it. He can’t believe why Switzerland recently voted no to money from the state: It is called civil wages. (borgerlønn.) Why would anyone say no to money help? As a single mom, I sure would be grateful for it. Wouldn’t you? Still it is a sad solution to fix a society in crisis with too much unemployment.

3. A lot of young people come to South Beach in Florida, USA hoping for a better life and to live The American Dream – but they do not find a job either because it is hard or because they do not know English good enough. Some of them hope to study here, they wish for a scholarship, like a young Italian girl I helped out with her university application. Her family does not support her decision to stay in US, what shall she do?  She looks a bit uncertain. She just knows she dont want to stay in her hometown in Italy anymore.

Students stay in the school for years just to have a possibility to stay in Miami

The school I attend is nothing like I thought it would be. Most students are not coming here for pleasure for a few weeks like me. Some of them stay in the school for years, and they have to come every day, if not they will have to leave the country. You cannot stay in Miami without green card or without doing anything. Attending an affordable English school like South Beach Languages is  an option. It is also a good opportunity to go there study for a Toefl test. The school gives Toefl practice classes. The famous Toefl test is hard and academical  – but if you pass, it will be easier to get into a college and might also help you to get a job.

As a waiter you can get good money – you can live from tips 

4. People I meet are not as friendly as I thought they would be. They are impatient, hard, cynical: «Miami people are not nice,»  an educated gay couple I meet downtown confess. They lived here for two years and know everything worth knowing: «People here are not educated, they are rude also. If you want to meet nice and kind people, go to Fort Lauderdale,» is their advice.

A man from New York, born in Puerto Rico goes even further: «Do not believe in the system here. It is all corrupt. Miami is a crazy city where nobody cares about anything and where people work like slaves. Write about the real America, behind the facade,» he begs me.

Miami is an expensive city. Here, people want to do business, they want to get tipped – at least 15 percent or more. Even 30 percent tips, they ask for! Food and drinks look cheap, but when I receive my bill, they have included tax and tips which almost double the prize! If I dont tip extra , they look bitter.  It is not like in Norway where the waiter is lucky if somebody actually tips him. Here you do not have a choice. A young girl in my school from Czech republic, says she gets much better paid here than back in her country, she works as a waitress here and can live from the generous tips. Back home  they do not give her extra. She works hard, both with her English in school and in the restaurant. Her boyfriend stays in her home country and the distance is hard for the relationship. Still she prefers to stay here where she gets proper paid. We discuss hostels, and yes, she knows everything about sharing rooms in cheap and filthy hostels – that was all she could afford when she got here. Now she is lucky to have her own room, most people don´t.

My female teacher does not get a good payment. Nobody tips teachers. She is  lucky to have found  a cheap beauty store where she can take her little daughter to get her nails done every weekend. It does not seem like much luxury. One of my room mates in the Freehand hotel and hostel, hired a bunkbed for some days to attend his son´ś wedding. You should think a nice man like this would choose a 4 or 5 star hotel for this purpose,  – but no. As a retired constructive worker, he has to save his money.

No holiday – no health insurance  – no proper work – 25 percent are homeless

5. After hearing all these depressing details about violence and poor payment it is clear that The American Dream is fading. There are more bad news to come: In my country Norway, we have at least 5 weeks off every year and most people can easily go to their boss and get some time off. Not in the US. You work long days and maybe after 5 years, your office will give you 2 weeks off per year. That is all. Also, do not get sick in US – treatment is not free – and unless you have a health insurance – it can end really, really bad. Delivering a baby is expensive – in Norway we would think you are crazy if anyone said you had to PAY to have your own baby! You have to do it here. And in the US people are not hired anymore: 25 percent are homeless, claims the professor. By this he means that the companies will give you only 70 or 80 percent work so that they will not have to pay for your health insurance. This means your life is unsafe. Also – struggling to get money to pay for your life, means more and more people live unhealthy and become fat: Chips, doughnuts, burgers and sweet cakes are cheaper than vegetables and real, healthy meals.

Even the police sell drugs in this country

6. Most people I meet look innocent, but eventually, who can you trust in this country? Even the police sell drugs here, claims my professor. Wherever I go, I can smell marihuana, and I do not like it. I love wine, beer and gin, but drugs has always scared me off. I dont even like the smell of pot, it makes me feel sick. (I know my son is laughing when he reads this, but it is the truth.)

As mye teacher goes on putting America down, I feel like going home.  And now they are scaring me off with the police: «Do not move if the police stops you,» says a young female student, also from Europe. She has been in school now for a long time, and cannot get out. «She even sleeps here, in the back room,» the professor claims, teasing. The girl looks at me, and it is clear she is suspicious of me, «the unknowing, lucky grown up tourist.» – If the police arrest you, do not look for something in your bag, then they will shoot you, » she says, just hold your hands out and play dead. » The professor nods his head. The US police is brutal, they recently shot a young man visiting his grandmother, because they thought his phone that he reached out for in the back yard was a gun. They shoot dogs too, dogs are just belongings here, not living creatures, he goes on My god.

I already feel half dead as I leave the school this last day. I really love this school, the nice teachers, the good atmosphere and my cool school mates in South Beach languages. After  2 small weeks I have a heartache leaving everything behind. But – the harsh truth about US makes me not want to live here on a permanent basis.

I will return to Europe like I planned. There at least I know how to keep my balance. Some experts even say The American Dream is now happening in Europe – and if you want to live it, you should go to Denmark (or even Norway.)

From South Beach, Florida on a small scholarship for studies, Tina. 🙂

Also read: Did the Recession kill The American Dream

Also read: 15 reasons The American Dream is over

Also read: Is The American Dream really dead?

Read all my revealing Miami stories here: 

How I survived sleeping in a bunkbed in a small room with 5 guys for a week

Why I turned down a luxurious stay at Hilton; 3 good reasons

I was denied access to a nightclub in Miami; read my 3 warnings: What not to do

Outfit of the day: I paid just 5 dollar for this amazing jumper

Pool-drama: A young man is trown out after having been harrassing other people for a week

Also read: Warning: Oops, I did it again: I was thrown out of the bus because of Groupon

Also read: How to find room in Spain

Annonse

How I survived sleeping in a bunkbed in a small room with 5 guys for a week

31. mars | Artikler,Helse,Nyheter,Reise Read post in english

First of all, I made it a challenge for myself to survive in that small, dirty room in Miami South Beach, Florida, USA, for a week. It was a good opportunity to step out of my comfort zone. Second, I was ready to protect myself. In the end I kind of liked it.

If you want to enjoy your holiday in South Beach, Miami or in another groovy place, and do not have the money, sharing room in a hostel really is a good option. It costs likes 26-50 dollars a day, while in at hotel you have to pay like 5-10 times as much to live near the beach and have some comfort.

I had to look up the word «bunkbed»

I haven’t shared a bunkbed since I was really young and slept in my family`s cottage up in the mountains in Norway. For the last ten years or so, I have found out I really need my privacy when travelling, and I hate sharing my room with a stranger.

This time, however, I was into trying something completely new. Hotels for easter in SoBe were way too expensive and I started to look at hostels. I ended up booking a bed in a mixed room with 6 bunkbeds in a really small hostel at the beach.

«I had to look up the word bunkbed, and sort of freaked out when I saw the meaning, but decided to go for it.»

Here is how I survived:

1. I was polite and open minded. I met every new guy who bumped into my room in daytime or the middle of the night with a smile and made a small conversation and learnt why he came and what country he was from. The guys were mostly there for a musical festival and to hang out with friends. I said I was a teacher and freelance journalist, which gave some respect.
2. I took care of my belongings. My Imac and iPhone and electrical devices were always with me when I left the room. I do not think anyone would steal from me, but it is good to feel safe, so it was mostly for my own sake.
3. I went to the reception and said I wanted to change to the lower bed – next to the bathroom. There was a guy moving out that day from the bed I wanted. I insisted, and they said yes- just take it. Climbing down from my upper bunkbed in the dark at night, with guys sleeping everywhere around me, felt awkward. I kind of felt I deserved the lower one as  I need to pee more than the young guys during the night and they are better climbers than me. From my low bed I could just tiptoe in silence to do my nightly errands. That was a relief.
4. I regretted having such a big suitcase with me. I kept in in the corner, and it was not really room enough to open it: So I took the stuff from it that I needed every morning and kept it closed! Next time I share a small room, I will bring a much smaller bag – like the frenchman advised me: «Your bag is tooo big,» he said, smiling:  His daughter was taking a language class at EF, and he needed a bed to sleep in for a few nights, thatś why he was in the room with me. He was nice, but what a pity I dont speak French – we could not communicate as much as I wanted.
5. I sometimes said no. I am mostly friendly and positive, but I had to let down a guy from Algerie who bumped into the room in the middle of the night and said «you are beautiful – let´s do it!» At least I wanted to know his name first! Also I was tired from a party that night. The next day this guy came to me and apologized – he had been drinking, and he was not used to alcohol. He was sweet and I said no worries.
6. I learnt how to close my eyes and not be bothered by all the underwear and dirty socks on the floor. Really it was no problem, because I thought it would be much more messy that it turned out to be. Also some of the guys were surprisingly tidy and clean. I also learnt not to feel uncomfortable whenever I took a shower in that small, filthy bathroom! Not everybody has a warm shower and a place to stay: When you stop being picky, you can get used to almost everything. I easily adapt  and I have never been snobbish. The most important thing is to remember to bring your towel when you shower, so that you dont need to walk naked back to your bed. They might stare, you know, they are guys.
7. I learned to be thankful for small, important things – like that the guys did not snore as much as I feared. Actually just 2 out of ten snored, and just a little bit. That comes on the + list. Also, none of the guys accused ME of snoring: One time a girl accused me of this, but she snored louder than everyone. These guys were polite.

8. Another + by sharing your room with guys instead of girls – and I am not joking here – is that they do not occupy the bathroom! Girls I have shared room with in holiday, can shower and take baths and do their makeup FOR EVER! It is awful if you are like me and have problems waiting when you really must pee. Not one single of these guys occupied the bathroom for more than 1-5 minutes. That was terrific. Also, they did not make any drama like girls sometimes do or kept someone outside. They just sat on their beds texting or chatting. In my second hostel, which had more quality than the first one,  I was also asked to go out with guys to see Miami at night. I said no because I needed my beauty sleep: I was taking English classes from 9 am in the morning, and therefore had another routine than these party guys. It was actually good, because in the morning nobody were up so I had the bathroom for myself and when I came back from school they were all gone and I could have the room on my own. So having your own routine helps a lot when sharing room.

9. Because I was the only girl in the room, I was sort of being taken care of, so it had some benefits. Some of them said they would be quiet when they came late home from parties, some said I could go out with them if I wanted company and more than one gave me a good laugh; like the one mentioning living in our small, crowded room with bunkbeds and name tagged beds felt a lot like being in prison. Young guys can be really funny. Some offered me beer and champagne. Girls sharing room in that hostel said COOL when they heard I was sharing with only guys: «One said; I wish my mom was more like you, you are fun and like music and parties, she dont.»
10. I did end up in a small argument with one younger guy, that was because he insisted on kissing me inside the room and pretended I did not exist outside the room. That was rude and I told him. I am patient, but I have some temper sometimes.  Also a small drama appeared when  I said no to an older man of 72 who wanted to invite me as a date to his son´s formal drinks before the wedding the next day. That felt too private. Me turning him down, made him kind of grumpy. These to smaller   incidents have not scared me off – and I would gladly share with guys again.
11. Ps: Thinking of signing up for a mixed room? Just know there will normally only be guys there. Most hostels offer rooms for girls only – that might be better if this story scared you off. On the other hand – if you want to meet guys on your holiday, do like me – you don´t have to search for guys anywhere, they are actually there, in your room. And next time you consider complaining about your hotel room – think twice: Most people on earth can only afford a bunkbed when travelling. 😉 

Annonse

Fra Miami: Jeg er rystet og knust over at hatet vokser i mitt lille land

20. mars | Artikler,Helse,Nyheter,Reise Read post in english

Da jeg våknet i den smale køyesengen i det høyst spartanske 6 mannsrommet på det nedslitte hostellet i South Beach, var det med klump i magen og sorg i hjertet: Jeg åpnet mobilen, så at jeg for en gangs skyld hadde internett, og leste at Listhaug og hennes falske FB-trollmann – Espen Teigen på 25 – hadde trukket seg. Det var ikke Harry Potter jeg leste – det var ufattelig nok virkeligheten i mitt lille land. Smerten lettet: Marerittet var endelig over.

Jeg skriver dette fra kjelleren i mitt nedslitte, ghettohostell i South Beach Miami. Bildet jeg bruker er usminket – og det er slik jeg føler meg. Forsvarsløs. Naken. Mennesker jeg trodde jeg kjente, folk jeg har  sett opp til, og som har gitt uttrykk for at de liker meg svært godt, er forvandlet til monstre som er ondskapsfulle og føler at  de har rett til å trampe over meg – bare fordi jeg har dristet meg til å blogge om politikk.

«Plutselig er jeg ikke hun søte, blonde lenger som de kan prøve å sjekke opp på Messenger – men en kvinne med meninger. Og de skal man forsatt ikke ha lov til å uttrykke uten å bli tatt for det, selv i 2018.»

Lei av drittmeldinger uten innhold

«Slutt å skrive om politikk! Dette har du ikke greie på! Legg ned den dumme bloggen din! Ser du ikke hva folk skriver til deg? Svarer du ikke på kommentarer? Ikke nevn 22. juli! Nå sletter jeg deg som venn! Vi som følger deg trenger ikke å se ansiktet ditt! Du svarer folk selektivt – og det er jeg i mot! Slike og verre kommentarer har blitt dagligdags etter at jeg våget å bruke stemmen min til å si at jeg av hele mitt hjerte er dypt imot Listhaug og hennes hatretorikk.

Så langt fra virkeligheten som det er mulig å komme

Hatet og kritikken har ikke bare rammet meg – men alle jeg synes har opptrådt som gode mennesker i disse kølsvarte dagene. Som KrFs Knut Arild Hareide – en enormt klok mann som var seg sitt ansvar bevisst i rett tid. Han var stor nok til å tilgi Listhaug, men hadde NULL tillit til henne som justisminister og satte ord på det mange av oss følte. Han sa det handlet om anstendighet – altså total mangel på sådan.

Enkelte av mine FB-venner skrev under mitt støtteinnlegg og hjerte til Hareide at han ikke er noen mann og han drev et spill for å sanke stemmer. Så langt fra virkeligheten som det overhodet er mulig å komme! Det handlet om å sette ned foten for et menneske som i verste fall kan trigge drapshandlinger og ny terror i det landet du og jeg er så glad i – som med vitende og vilje tenner bensin på hatbålet. Sylvi Listhaug – et farlig menneske helt uten skrupler og samvittighet.

For dette handler ikke om streng innvandring lenger  – det minner om krigshissing, om nazisme, om ondskap, om bevisst og blind rasisme mot mennesker som ser annerledes ut enn oss. Dert er stygt, det er grovt og det er farlig.

Mistenker personlighetsforstyrrelse

Hva for krenkelser har Sylvi Listhaug opplevd som har gjort henne så hatsk og bitter og blottet for empati og forståelse for hvordan man opptrer? Den falske trollmann-kunstneren hennes Espen Teigen, støttespilleren  og hjernen bak Fb-provokasjone, har allerede innrømmet for VG hva som feiler ham: Farens død gjorde ham avstumpet, sier han. Det er helt tydelig. Det gjenstår å finne ut hva som feiler Listhaug: Jeg tolker det som en personlighetsforstyrrelse. Det og ren skjær ondskap.

Sylvi minner meg om Breivik

Trebarnsmoren har på groveste vis misbrukt sin betrodde stilling i regjeringen som justisminister – en rolle hun aldri skulle hatt og på ingen måte bekler eller kler. Fy for skam, Listhaug. Og Erna! Jeg har i lengre tid mistenkt at hun på langt nær er den kloke og stødige statsministeren mange har trodd: At hun rett og slett skjuler en svakhet, bak sin pondus og skråsikkerhet, at hun er mer usikker og har mindre tyngde enn alt later til. Det har nå vist seg å være rett.

Det verste og mest skremmende av alt er å se at Sylvi ikke viser noen form for anger. En «vanlig»  kristen kvinne fra bygda – som er gift og skal ha ansvar for tre mindreårige barn.

Jeg er skrekkslagen og bekymret for hennes barn.

Hun minner meg om massemorderen, om Breivik. Han også satt der uten noen form for anger, uten evne og vilje til å si unnskyld for sin udåd. Han også fortsatte med sine fraser selv lenge etter at han var tatt.

Jeg kommer ikke til å slutte å blogge

I et par dager nå, har det fristet å ta en lang pause fra blogging. Jeg har følt meg sparket i magen og sønderknust. Jeg har tenkt at det ikke er verdt det. Jeg begynte å rydde i vennelisten på FB – jeg tok på alvor det jeg har følt lenge – at enkelte som kommenterer og kommer med personangrep på meg og andre forpester min hverdag mer enn det gjør godt.

Jeg er på reise i tre uker for å studere språk og oppleve Miami. Jeg har fått et lite stipend som muliggjør det. Jeg kommer ikke til å blogge hver dag herfra – og det vil bli lenger mellom hvert blogginnlegg.

Jeg kommer ikke til å svare alle som kommenterer selv om jeg har lesere som krever det. Det er ikke vanlig å kommentere hver eneste kommentar på en blogg eller et avisinnlegg, og jeg gjør det sporadisk om jeg synes det er viktig eller har noe å tilføre.

Noen ganger er det bedre å tie still og det er ikke alt som fortjener et svar. Noe er det smart å ignorere.

Jeg kommer ikke til å slutte å si min mening selv om jeg er en følsom sjel og selv om det gjør vondt å ha ha lesere som går til angrep og skriver stygt om andre.

Jeg kommer heller  ikke til å ta ansvar for folk som av ulike grunner er bitre på samfunnet eller på livet sitt og som tar det ut i kommentarfelt eller privat.

Sånn vil det fortsatt være.

Som sagt skriver jeg dette fra kjelleren på mitt slitne hostell. Rundt meg har jeg unge mennesker fra hele verden, med ulike historier og skjebner, med ulik religion, hud og utseende. De er alle mine søstre og brødre. Sparker du en av dem, så sparker du også meg. Snakker du til meg om «jævla utlendinger» og «pakk som skal komme seg hjem» så tar du også meg.

Jeg har venner som jobber i UD som snakker slik. Jeg har forlatt middagen og gått fra bordet når jeg hører slikt prat. Jeg tolerer det ikke. Dere vet hvem dere er og kan skamme dere.

Jeg føler meg sliten og tråkket på. Men det er ikke så synd på meg. Jeg kan sitte her og klage over hatet i mitt land, at badet mitt her er lite og skittent, at maten er dårlig  om ghettoforhold på hostellet jeg ikke burde valgt. In real Life er jeg privilegert. Mange av de som bor her hadde aldri hatt råd til dette oppholdet i Miami om det ikke var for at det er så billig å bo her. De kan aldri som oss, engang drømme om å ta inn på 5 stjerners hotell. Det å dele rom med flere andre personer er noe de sannsynligvis må gjøre resten av sitt liv.

Jeg er nummen.

Vi snakkes, men jeg vet ikke når.