Annonse

This is what I learnt from the enormously popular TV-program «Good morning, Norway» yesterday. It is always cold here, and still snow, but to welcome spring you can still wear all your summer dresses with  flower pattern. Just wear tights, T-shirt and boots with the outfit – and a jacket.

I am really inspired after having watched «Good morning, Norway.» It is an extremely popular program for housewives, retired people, people with home offices all and all of us who pretend to be really busy but are actually almost out of work. In this program, they have the sweetest and cutest fashion expert! Her name is Marianne Jemtegård, and besides being a cool fashion expert, she is also pregnant with some smart stud designer she met in Paris!

She really wanted to have a child before it was too late, but her boyfriend did not want a baby. So she packed her suitcase and left him! That is so brave and so right..

Now she is blooming more than ever, not because she is finally pregnant with her cute, foreign guy, but also because she is showing us all the ways we can use our summer clothes in winter and early spring: Just wear your favourite T-shirt under the dress, and put on some stillongs or tights.  And  put on some cool boots! It is very smart, because here in my cold, small country Norway up in northern Europe we never know if it will snow, rain or be 16 degrees celsius. The weather changes in seconds!

I got inspired and wanted to celebrate spring – brrr

So, inspired by Marianne- the blonde woman right in the photo –  and Good morning Norway, I put on a T-shirt, a green dress that I really like, the tights I bought at HM in Miami because of the freeeeezing air condition that made my legs feel numb – and a jacket.

– Wear a leather jacket or a woolen jacket with the outfit, she said, and both look cool. It is still too cold for sandals in Norway, and mine look too sweet, so I put on some boots with fringes instead.

I tried the outfit in my living room and hallway, and all jackets look cool with it, I think.

«Voila! is this cool or not? We don´t have to dress so perfect, we can dress for fun and be more colourful.»

Now I am looking for more stylish tights, but I haven’t been able to find any yet. They are either too colorful or just grey or black. Send me tips if you know where I can find cool tights that match with dresses.

How do you like to dress in spring? Last time I went for a walk on my favourite local beach, I skipped my pants and wore a summer dress with tights, boots, a small jacket and a scarf. Why not? 🙂

I have liked dresses since I was a child, and I still like skirts and dresses a lot. One of my female friends loves pants, and she thinks I am too obsessed with skirts and dresses, but who cares. They are comfortable and feminine.

 

And here is outfit number three! I love this old orange dress. Time to get it out of the closet! A thick leather jacket is perfect at night and the shoes are one of my favourites; although old, I dont have the heart to throw them away. The tights are light lilac and I found them when searching my wardrobe.

I was not just inspired by Mariannes ideas – I was so thrilled about them that I took photos of the TV screen and sent the images to my son and his girl friend, saying this is the way we should look this spring.

They were both in school, but they were polite enough to answer me on messenger. My son said cool, the girl also, but she was a bit sceptical about wearing T-shirts under dresses. 🙂

«Would you wear T-shirt with your favorite dress when it is cold outside, or are you scared it might ruin your outfit?»

Also read, in Norwegian: Fashion expert Marianne is pregnant with French stud.

Also read: Outfit of the day: I paid just 5 dollar for this amazing jumper

Also read: What I learnt in Florida: The American Dream does not exist, here are 6 reasons why

Also read: Who said that Norway is expensive?

Also read: Welcome to Norway! 🙂

Annonse

Liv Signe Navarsete: «We want your pussy.» It is indeed nothing to be proud of! Ten Norwegian male politician friends all deny having sent this message to their colleague. They have denied it for two years, and they all protect each other!  Mrs Navarsete feels deeply harrassed. She was on a sick leave when she received this message in her home late at night: She felt they were writing her this message to tell her she was an ass who deserved losing her job. #MeToo

You would think this could happen in kindergarten or in high school – maybe. Not in a mens ´festive weekend  in a cabin in Sweden where grown up politicians were gathered. (In Norway we call these tremendiously popular fiestas for «hyttetur».)

These were 10 Norwegian men in high positions, several mayors, leaders and a state secretary of the Center party.

But this is what happened! Liv Signe Navarsete (left in photo) who was pressured to leave  her job as a political leader of the Center party because she was leading in a way that many people disliked, got this message after midnight.

Her friend claimed to be stuck in the toilet

«We want your pussy,» it said. The message was sent from messenger, from her Facebook friend, state secretary of the party Morten Søberg, who was indeed present at the weekend trip in the cabin. But he claimed to have been in the lavatory: He said that he had left his phone on the table and was not present at the time the awkward and shameful message was sent.

Really, should we believe that? Two years later they all still deny having sent this offensive message to Liv! Ola Borten Moe, the deputy leader of  the party who was the one to get rid of Liv, says he is shocked and disappointed that all his friends deny having sent the message! Read Norwegian article in Aftenposten here. 

Really, should we believe that? He hated this woman, at least he strongly worked to get her removed from her job – and succeeded.

Will force the guilty man to come forward

Now the top, top leader of the party (general secretary we call it here)  has promised that  he will look into this matter one more time – and this time he will force the guilty man to confess.

«What if they did it together, and had a big laugh about it after 10-15 glasses of whisky and beer? Because that is what cabin weekends out of town with politicians is all about. Drinking and gossiping (and maybe working a little.) Actually they were having a «trøndersk» fiesta, and in Norway Trondheim is a city where people sometimes have a bit difficulties to behave. Other scandals have happened with Trondheim-politicians before. They are a bit like barbarians, they grew up in a local bar and have wild parties in the fields drinking home made liquor like «karsk.» 

It could be true they really liked her – or  not…

Come on, guys!! This is very, very shameful, and I am not at all impressed with you. You have leading political positions — and still you act so childish!

Worse MeToo-stories have happened, and Liv is a strong lady who will survive this stupid story. But you know what is most tragic? She read this note as if they said she was some sort of bad lady they wanted to get rid of and put down!

I am more naive and positive thinking – if someone sent me this message in the middle of the night – well, I would really think these guys were insanely in love with me because I am awesome and that they were desperate to have sex with me!

It has happened to me more than once  that horny men send me messages after midnight. But this poor lady did not take it as a compliment at all.

And it was not of course, I am just joking. :/

The men and best friends protect each other 

«Isn’t it ironic how all these men stick together and protect eachother? They are all friends, and men do not kiss and tell – not when it means you have to talk badly about your best friend. Also at work, they protect each other: They all know one of the lads drinks to much, is too intimate with female coworkers at parties and cheats on his wife and comes late in for work every second day , but if you ask them if they know something about this, they will most likely hmmmm, yrrr…. mumble something, look in another direction and walk away.

Not all of course – some good guys would be honest and tell you everything (especially if they kind of want you)  – I am just saying brotherhood and being mates also means you do not let your best friend down when he is in troble.

Have a good one!

ps; I will never join politics and try to be a politician again, that´s for sure… its just too much bullshit  and way too much alcohol and MeToo involved in it for me.

Ciao.

Also read, in Norwegian: The general secretary will force the guilty man to say he is sorry.

Also read: The scandal in the oat field: Politician refuses to apologize sex with teenage boy

Also read: What I learnt in Florida: The American Dream does not exist, here are 6 reasons why

Annonse

For ten years it has been a secret, but then a scandal internet-magazine reveals the shocking facts: A well known female political leader had sex with a teenage boy in an oat field during a politician couple´s farm-wedding. Now her colleges require she must apologize for her actions, but the lady refuses and the boy and the wedding guests are furious. «I did not do anything wrong,» she claims in the article following the photo below.

It is almost like in a movie: The older lady, a well known political leader, has secret sex with a much younger guy  in an oat field up north in Norway during a wedding where his relative – a well known politician from an opponent political party gets married. You can see part of the field in the background in the photo below, showing the bride and the groom, The Center party vice president Ola Borten Moe and his wife Anna Ceselie Brustad Moe, also Center party-politician.

Faximile from Adressa.no. Photo: Glen Musk

 After 10 years the news explodes in media. The wedding guests, the political leaders and the press have known for years, but decided to hush the story down. In fact nothing illegal happened, it was awkward, but it was voluntary sex and the boy was 17, and over the legal age.

The guy suffered psychologically

Now a scandalous conservative website decides to reveal the long hidden sex story: They talk to the guy´s family and friends who were present at the party on the farm that night, and they write the story anonymously, mentioning that the boy has suffered psycologically after the incident: His father tells his son cried after the sex in the field and his friends bullied him about it afterwards.

Trine Skei Grande, which is the name of the lady having sex with the young, innocent farm-guy, is at this time leader of the party LEFT and about to become minister of Culture. It is a very bad time for her to face this old sex scandal story, and the magazine editor who supports the conservative party FrP, knows that.

The boy and his family refuse to do an interwiew with the internet magazine, they do not want any attention. Still the conservative editor continues writing more details every day and make a big pressure on Trine to make her stand forward.

In Norway we are not used to press printing private storys like this – and for a long time the decent press is reluctant, they will not write about it. After some time, Trine feels so pressured that she decides to speak to Aftenposten, which is one of Norways biggest and most respected newspapers.

Here, she does not tell the details, but simply says she is a common girl who grew up in the countryside, went to parties like everybody else and that she might have done some stupid things in her life – but she is not an abuser. There is a lot of gossip around, and some of it says that she practically raped a guy with Downs syndrom. She wants to say this is not true.

«This comment that she is not an abuser, she might have regretted ever since.»

The guy feels betrayed

Because now the guy feels that she is blaming HIM for the act! They had an agreement not to talk about it, and he feels betrayed. The editor of the scandalous web magazine confronts him with rumours saying that Trine and politicians working for her has said he is a simple guy from the countryside not to be trusted. This makes him angry. In a phone call with Trine, he asks Trine what her story is if she is asked what happened. According to the guy her answer is that they went for a walk and he took her behind a house and jumped on her.

This is not how the guy remembers this night at all. He is shocked. When VG, one of Norways biggest controversial newspapers, calls him, he decides to talk: He says that he wishes Trine luck with her position as minister of Culture, but now he feels like an abuser and it is not true! He tells VG what happened was they went for a walk on the field, laid down and had voluntary sex. He says the prime minister can call him and get the facts is she wants.

 

Most of the people are now all on the guy´s side; they feel sorry for him and want Trine to apologize to him and say that she is responsible for the act – she was 38 at the time, the guy only 17! 

She has to feel the shame and be punished for it – just like men had to do

All of a sudden, Trine is the badass – people say she deliberately lied to protect herself and this poor guy is abused even though he said is was voluntary. With all the MeToo-stories where men were hunted down – now it´s about time a woman has to feel the shame!  Witnessing guests at the wedding claim SHE was the active part – not him.

Trine and her boss left in the photo, the prime minister Erna Solberg – refuse to apologize, they will not talk about the incident anymore. This makes everything worse and the story escalates. The boy, who earlier had no disagreement with Trine and his friend both write a letter to the prime minister telling that they feel badly treated: They feel the guy has been dishonored for false reasons.

The groom supports his relative, the young boy

After two months the groom who is Trines political opponent, Borten Moe, who nobody mentioned or remembered for years, decides to talk: He writes on Facebook – just in the same minute minister Trine is attending a highly important conference with her party –  that he is furious with Trines behaviour. He says his relative, the young guy of 17 who now turned 26, is to be trusted, and that it is terrible that Trine tries to blame him for the sex. He is also furious about – what he has heard in the political corridors – that Trine and her political advisers have lied about the guy, telling he is a weak and underintelligent farm guy who is out of work and was bullied in school. This he claims they have done to protect Trines political career and to prove nothing happened in the field that night, ten years ago. Trine and her colleagues on the other hand claim they wanted to protect the boy!

The guy that was described as a loser out of work, apparently with Downs Syndrome or likewise, dependent of an personal assistant,  is today an engineer and has a leading position in a good company.

This is 10 years later – and he can of course have had weaknesses as a teenager. Still, this does not seem like a guy that is simple and has to be protected from himself. On the other hand, we dont know if Trine said these things about him – she is not at all the type to put other people down, she is maybe a bit naive and cowardly, but not at all manipulative or evil. The guy is more likely sat up by other more speculative people.

Woman working for a child care office makes a complaint

The story is not over: A wedding guest, an older conservative spinster, Gro Spieler, working for a child care office claims to be deeply offended, and she writes a complaint to the prime minister saying that she and Trine has to apologize for their bad behaviour, and for treating this case so poorly. It appears that five years ago she also wrote a letter to Trine demanding her to apologize to the whole wedding party, but Trine refused  – she did not feel she had done anything wrong.

«And maybe she is not to blame? Actually she is a kind woman suffering  from diabetes and severe asthma, is highly overweight, lives alone and deserves some sex. Also, it is more likely that the guy was horny and came on to her rather that she abused him openly.»

This weekend, minister of Culture, Trine, was elected again as a leader for her party LEFT, and she begged her party to treat the sex scandal as a private story. But now her colleague Abid Raja (in photo over) stands forward, saying Trines story now has become such a big burden for the whole party that she has to tell all the sex details to the press so they can go on with doing politics.

What details does he want? She and the boy apparently do not agreee about what happened in the field 10 years ago and who seduced – or jumped on –  who.

How is this scandalous, shameful  story going to end? Does Trine have to end her career as a minister and political leader for people and political opponents to calm down – or does she simply just have to say:

«I am sorry, I am to blame for this whole mess and the guy is no abuser; just a young lad I should have been wise enough to reject late at night in that wedding party where we both drank too much alcohol.»

What do you suggest?

 

Afterword: After a long discussion with my skilled FB-friends it turns out corn field is not the right expression here as it is most likely oat they are growing in this now so well known field.

«Havren, den har bjeller på,» an experienced lawyer, reminds me. In Norwegian havre means oat and in the song they say the oat wear «bells», which can have more than one meaning.

This is a popular  old folk song in Norway and Denmark. Enjoy it on YouTube here.

Be careful with your actions in the fields, though, there might be people watching – and if you get a new position or something, they might not act like your friends anymore… Just saying. Ciao. 🙂

Also read: What I learnt in Florida: The American Dream does not exist, here are 6 reasons why

Also read: Hva gjør du når tenåringen din ligger dritings på en benk?

Also read: Why I turned down a luxurious stay at Hilton – 3 good reasons

Also read: Warning: Oops, I did it again: I was thrown out of the bus because of Groupon

Annonse

Please check carefully before you buy Groupon Deals when visiting a foreign country: The deal might not work! The hop on and off bus offer with Groupon was really cheap, but the coupon never popped up. Guess what: I had to leave the bus – with the ticket man….

I cant believe I have such bad luck again. A few days ago I had to leave a famous nightclub because the guard did not like my ID. Now I am in a hop on and off bus with Big Bus in Miami and look forward to see the whole city in a few hours. But no…        

The first bus accepts my printout of the Groupon deal, but I have to change bus downtown, and there a ticket man appears and want to check my ticket. He shakes his head, and says this printout is not valid. He has to see the coupon. I also want to see the coupon, but it was nowhere to be found and the hostel kindly enough printed out the deal for me that I just bough. It was they who recommended me to buy a Groupon deal as it would be so much cheaper – and it was. I paid 29.90 dollars instead of 45 dollars.

«Just that the ticket is useless.»

(God, why do I always listen to these advices without checking for myself if it is wise or not.)

 

Please leave the bus – now!

The ticket man says the bus is about to leave and I have to get out. I am quite upset and asks him if he wants me to stand stranded in the street, and he says of course not madam, I will leave the bus with you.

There we stand in the street, me and this young stud with so strict rules to follow. We both look for the coupon – we try my IPhone first and even download the Groupon app twice – then we do the same on his phone – but the coupon does not exist!

«I can prove that I have bought and payed for the Bus deal, but I can still not go on my planned bus tour.»

He says last week another person had the same problem: «Groupon is cheap, but it is difficult,» he says. He thinks that maybe the Norwegian and American Groupon system do not work together properly.

He threw me out – now he wants to hang out???

He really wants me to enjoy the bus tour this day, and offers me a new lowcost ticket for 25 dollars. Normally it costs 45 and you can use it for two days. He also gives me his WhatsApp number on a written piece of paper with a heart on it. «We can probably hang out together,» he says.

What?? This guy brutally threw me out of the bus – now he wants to take me on a date?? I really have problems to understand The American Life. I say thanks, but I leave soon and dont know if I can make it,  I don´t have so much time left! Actually when a guy asks me to hang out, I never know if he means we are going on a walk together in a park, or if he simply just wants sex, and I am too embarrassed to ask.

Good times in Wynwood

Well, anyways –  It is like 100 degrees where we are standing, and I am burning up. Eventually a bus arrives and he pushes me in front of the big queue. «You shouldn’t be back there, you have waited long enough,» he says – adding «dont forget to add me on WhatsApp.» Then he is gone, and I am on my own. I am dying of thirst, and leaves the bus at the next stop, which is the famous Wynwood art district. The driver says this is a good place to stop for a beer, and I nod and say out loudly: OH YESSS!

Actually I feel warm and tired and when I at last feel like moving  from my table in the Wynwood restaurant after finishing two enormously expensive and extremely small tapas dishes and two beers, it is already late – and I can´t find the bus stop. I normally struggle with direction and this time I am completely lost. Also there are no Big Bus signs.

Heyyy, I am lost!

«I am lost! Where do I jump on,» I ask the ticket man on WhatsApp. He quickly gives me the information I need and I am lucky to find the bus stop at last. Time is out and the bus leaves me in the city downtown. I have to go back to Miami South Beach with the local bus, which takes an hour…

Cool times with my roommate in Wynwood on next day bus drive

Next day my nice roommate-cutie Kim from Brazil wants to go on the bus ride, and when he asks me if I will join him I say yes. This time I know my way around and most luckily of all, I now ride with a valid ticket. Before we go I email Groupon and say I want the money back from the worthless deal. Kim and I go back to Wynwood and take photos of all the vivid and funny artistic walls.

It starts raining heavily and we hide inside a cafeteria and have a beer. We want to stop also in Little Havana, but agree there is not much to do there besides having a Mojito -and they also serve delicious Mojitos in our hostel. Also, I already spent a whole night in Little Havana dancing salsa with a girl I met from Brazil last week in another hostel – Flavia.

Kim and I decide to take the bus back to South Beach, end up in North Beach and have to sit in the bus all the way back. It seems we both suffer from lack of direction-disease.

A false Groupon turned out to be a good deal

This has been such a nice day. Also the tour guide made me laugh several times, he was so funny, telling lies about how he used to live in these big expensive houses that we were passing –  with his ex-wife Shakira. Several times he asked us to bend our heads not to get the branches from the trees in our heads, that was also a bit funny, lol. It was heavy wind on the top floor, and we also were asked to hold on to hats, babies, partners and toupees! During the day I almost forgot that I paid double prize for the trip, both from Groupon and from Big Bus directly.

After a few days, I luckily get at notice from Groupon that I can spend the money on another deal or they can give me my money back. I choose the last. By all luck they return the money.

Now I want to message the ticket man and thank for his help and for giving me a good prize. I  say sorry there was no time left to hang out together as he suggested we  could probably do. «Did you really want that?» I ask, I am a bit slow sometimes to understand what a guy means. Sure, he thinks we could have a good time! He tells me he is originally from New York and worked for Big Bus in Miami for a year now.

Oh well, shoot – but time ran out and I got my nice day with Kim, who is now in marvellous San Francisco having a ball while I am at home in Norway recovering from a cold.

Groupon really let me down in Miami , but then a lot of other nice things happened, so thank you Groupon.

Will be more careful using you next time, though..;)

Do you use Groupon – and what are your impressions? Good or bad??

Read about all my good times and disasters in Miami, Florida:

I was denied access to a nightclub in Miami – read my 3 warnings: What not to do

Pool-drama: A young man is thrown out after harrassing other people for a week

How I survived sleeping in a bunkbed in a small room with 5 guys for a week

What I learnt in Florida: The American Dream does not exist, here are 6 reasons why

Why I turned down a luxurious stay at Hilton – 3 good reasons

Outfit of the day: I paid just 5 dollar for this amazing jumper

These are the 3 hostels I lived in during my stay in Miami South Beach:

The hostel in South Beach

Freehand Miami

Rock hostel

These are the 2 schools I attended during my stay:

South Beach Languages

Spanish Hangout

Annonse

I was denied access to a famous nightclub in Miami, and it was not because I was drunk. Read my 3 warnings about what you should not do when you are out enjoying nightlife in the United States.

  1. Bring your driver’s license and passport: I joined a party through my hostel, which was pretty cool. We got free drinks in the chill bar in Rock Hostel, a spacious and modern, fully equipped hostel one block from the beach. A party bus took us to another hostel, where we had a drink before driving to a famous nightclub called Story. We were on a guest list, but had to queue up. When I finally reached the entrance, a big, black guy asked for my ID. I had brought my Norwegian Bank Visa with personal photo and full personal number on it. This was a huge mistake, according to the enormous guard in front of me. He rolled his eyes when I said that this was a good ID In Norway. «Not here in the States,» he said. He showed me a book with photos of what IDs he could allow: Only passports and driver licenses! When I asked if he could let me in anyway, he asked if I wanted to get in trouble with American law.

    I am quite certain I do not look under 21, I was not drunk and I had dressed up nice in red dress and high heel gold sandals. But that did not help me.

    I was denied access as the only guest from our party – the others were mostly latinos and young people under 30 – and I –  the only white grown up woman, was kicked out.

  2. I tried to discuss with the guard, but that was not a good idea, it made him even more demanding. Luckily, our host from Rock hostel felt sorry for me, and he took me back and forth with Uber Pool, so that I could get my passport from the room safe. I felt like a criminal and he understood I was upset, but at the same time he also claimed that my bank ID looked like crap; like it could have been homemade in my kitchen. IDs that are not issued by the state are worthless, he said. This was new and shocking facts! In my country driver´s license is considered more crap than bank IDs with full personal number and photo!

    I got in at last showing my passport with the host at my side – but after this experience I did not have such a good time, actually, so I just stayed for short time  and went home.

  3. In the nightclub Mango in Miami – at salsa nights –  I was never asked for any ID. Therefore I never thought I would need to bring my passport to Story. The thing is – you never know when they will ask for ID either because they need to or because they want to show their power.  Please do not do like me and claim your bank Visa with personal photo and personal number is the best ID ever and that Norway is one of the world ´s safest country in the world in front of an angry big guard. He will not understand. Bring your driver ´s  license and passport wherever you go in the US. It is all this country understands. According to my hostel  host, these people deny people for all kinds of reasons – they might say  you picked the wrong kind of shoes that night or wrong clothing or they will claim you had too much to drink, so be careful! (The photo below is from my more happy night in Mango.)

2. Do not take for granted that the waiter will give you the right money back.  When in a party and if you have been drinking a bit or have a lot on your mind, it is easy to forget to check your wallet and money. When we were stopping at another hostel to get a drink before the night club, there was a crowd of people there and pretty chaotic. A roommate of mine from Brazil did not discover until he was inside the disco that 80 dollar was missing from his wallet – the waiter in the hostel bar had given him too little money back from a 100 dollar. When I am writing this he is still trying to get his money back. At first the hostel said they could not help him, but the manager at our hostel made a call and made them check the cashier and the cameras. I feel so sorry for this guy – my friend – visiting Miami, Las Vegas and Los Angeles who lost his precious money. Two days later, when we visited the famous art area Wynwood, he had still not got his money back.  

In fact we should always check the bill when we are shopping to see if it is right  – and check that we get the right change back in restaurants and bars. It is human to do mistakes, but it is so hard to come the next day and claim you were not given your change back or that the bill is wrong! So here we have all something to learn. Better check twice right away.

3. Do not bring your wallet and a lot of money to beach at night. In Miami (and many other places) hanging out with your friends on the beach at night is popular. I also did this one night – I was invited by my former room mate in Freehand hostel and two more people. Together with my friends from Denmark, Mexico and Canada I climbed inside a beach house and had some drinks and food and nice talk there. Late in the night, the other girl in our nice group, noticed both her wallets were missing. She and the guy from Denmark looked everywhere, even in the garbage, but the wallets with her last money were lost. At night in the beach there might be thieves around waiting for you to lose control of your things, so do not bring too much money and do not leave your thing behind when you go to the toilet or some other errands. Besides from this, we had a supernice time on the beach. My first time to spend a whole night in a beach house.

Good luck with your nights out -and do not forget valid ID.  😉 I have learnt my lesson.

After I printed this, my friend from Mexico lost his phone in a gay club – so please, please, hold on to your things… 🙂 

What have you learnt by travelling?

Check out nice and cheap hostels here. Fun way to travel as you meet new friends every day.

Read about my experiences in Miami here.

How I survived sleeping in a bunkbed in a small room with 5 guys for a week

What I learnt in Florida: The American Dream does not exist, here are 6 reasons why

Outfit of the day: I paid just 5 dollar for this amazing jumper

Pool-drama: A young man is trown out after having been harrassing other people for a week

Why I turned down a luxurious stay at Hilton – 3 good reasons

Annonse

Sex in the City: He was tanned, cute, with dark hair and a charmy smile and he offered me a 3 night free stay at luxurious Hilton hotel. Here are 3 reasons why I said no and chose a free banana in a cheap hostel – and why you should do it too…

  1. They most likely only want sex: These guys who tell you they liked you the first minute they saw you and you are so beautiful and they simply cannot leave you that night …. most of them are simply just looking for sex. Guys sometimes stop me in the street to say something like this, some follow me and start hugging and kissing me.  One not so good looking fellow followed me into the restaurant and sat there when I ate my meal. It was his day off from work in a restaurant and he wanted to take me to the beach. I was going to a Spanish class and was not interested. After a long time he finally understood it. Another a bit scary looking fellow who I met in the street at night, wanted me to take me for a ride in his van. I ran!  This time it happened in the bar of my hostel. A cute looking guy gave me an eye and asked if I was looking for company. I just passed, but later he came over to where I was sitting and accidentally spilt my beer and offered to by a new Heineken. I said yes. So far so good. He told me he was a helicopter pilot from Algerie on a job journey with colleagues from all over the world, and he had room for me in Hilton. I could upgrade my cheap and filthy  stay just by saying yes. Three days later he was going to leave Florida and go to New York. It was tempting to go to a luxurious hotel after two weeks in cheap hostels with room-mates, but he was probably married and it would not be worth it. Maybe for him, not for me. I have done some stupid things in my life, and a hotel romance with a married guy seeking sex, is not on my to do-list or my Bucket-list right at this moment.   Younger girls I know, tell me that they often get offers like this: A man insisted on paying for one beautiful ´s girls gas when she stopped her car at a gas station, but she was not looking for a sugar daddy and said no. He kept on asking, and wouldn’t leave her. In the end she had to say she was married. Another of my study mates actually said yes to go to at hotel with a much older guy after a salsa class. He gave her so many drinks that she got wasted and could not say no. The next day she could not wait to take a taxi back to her apartment. She regretted the sex so much she was too embarrassed to go to salsa the next day  – as he would be there too, as one of the help out guys. Also she had to go to the pharmacy to buy a regret-pill.  Regret – and what´s in it for me – are reasons to turn these offers down. Because what ´s  in it for you, rather that a short not so happy romance? These stories happen everywhere.  The MeToo-campagin did not change the world all of a sudden. Sometimes these hungry men out there seeking company for a night wants two girls. A friend of mine gets so mad when a man comes up to her and me  in a night club and invites us to three- somes that she screams at him that he can go and buy girls on the street! I am milder, but in the end I also manage to say no. The thing is, I love to meet new people and grab a beer together and chat and flirt, but the minute I feel uncomfortable it is over. Like this night in the hostel – when I said no and his answer was that I was stupid to say no and that a lot of other girls would have had accepted: He could have chosen anyone in here but chose me. That´s the minute it is definitely over for me and I just want to finish my drink and go. Or the minute they say you are probably a lesbian because you dont want their dick. Offensive behavior does not turn me on and does not make me horny. And I know the difference.
  2. You will most likely regret it: After seeing the movie «He is not that into you» episodes like this always reminds me of this movie. One unlucky girl finally learns how to turn badguys down and say no  – and look for something worth keeping. A good friend, who in the end turns out to become her boy friend, tells her «don’t do it – he is not into you. The girl look for love, not for a free drink: If you are young and out of money, it might be tempting to have a sugar daddy to pay for you for a while. If you are older an need sex, why not – we live in a free world. In the right moment when I feel young and alive and happy anything can happen! But when you have had too much to drink before, experienced some headaches, felt some stress and some regrets after some night with these not-so-hot-afterall-guys, you will learn how to say no.  Short time romance can be fine but there is such a thin line between when you feel open for romance with someone  – and when you just feel that a guy is trying to buy you like something he sees in the store and wants. Actually I find younger guys more attractive because they are sweeter and more innocent and they don’t  come on to you in the same kind of tacky way. By this I do not mean that younger guys are necessarily worth more of you time. They often just want sex too… But at least you will feel more flattered.
  3. You do not know who the guy is: The best reason to turn these offers down is that you do not know who the guy is. Girls have been killed on internet-dates. This time the guy showed me his business card, I met his colleague and had no reason to believe that he was pretending to be someone else. But the guy lives in Algerie and clearly was not serious with me, and probably has a wife and three kids there. «Who cares about this? We are in Miami,» the guy said. Well, right there I did care. This was a guy I could have liked, which actually made it worse. Also, after you go with them to their hotel, your luck might change. After two hours the charm might be all gone. I have seen some of these guys getting mad, they have a temper and they soon turn into a hungry man wolf who wants a blowjob and you dont get more else besides of that.  Or he can’t do it because he is too drunk. Of course, he might be terrific in bed and fulfill all your dreams in these three nights – and we only live once. But the fact is, there is more chance that his room will be small, he  will not pay for your dinner the next day and he will not be a good lover –  because he had too much to drink and he is selfish and because most girls need to know a guy better or at least feel safe before good sex can happen. Better offers will come. Also it is more fun to hunt than be hunted on from my point of wiew.

«Actually a free banana, meeting new friends in a hostel and a good night ´s  sleep is probably more fun than a stay at Hilton with a married man who wants sex on his last night.»

Agree or disagree?

Read more about my three week stay in Florida, USA.

How I survived sleeping in a bunkbed in a small room with 5 guys for a week

What I learnt in Florida: The American Dream does not exist, here are 6 reasons why

Pool-drama: A young man is trown out after having been harrassing other people for a week

Read more about one night stands – pros and cons:

13 Good Reasons to have a one night stand.

7 signs you are not ready for a one night stand.